thoughts of the wounded.

I feel suicidal because it's one of those times I told you about about when I told you I randomly feel like a walking void. And I feel it even more so because I feel like I am doing things wrong with you. And I'm stressed and I'm tired and I'm thinking about things I shouldn't think about and usually never allow myself to think about. And the moon's not out, which may or may not be a sign, but I don't even know what I'm talking about. I feel suicidal because it's convenient when the water is just right there and it's so vast and beautiful and worth dying in. I feel suicidal because it's familiar.  I feel suicidal because it's easy to just let it all go rather than to keep holding on for God knows what. And maybe that's just it - God knows what and this is why we let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.