It amazes me how people change. How much, how often, how quickly. Even people you never thought would change. You spend all your time with them, content with them being who they are. Then one day you wake up and you don't even know who they are anymore.
People are peculiar and I don't understand them. I don't know that I want to understand. I spend my days people watching and thinking about how much different we all are, yet at the same time so.. alike. For the most part, we all want the same things. But we go about getting them in so many different ways. Some worse than others. I guess what I'm saying is..
Dear you,
Who are you really? You are not who I thought you were, and you are no longer who I thought I wanted to be. You are a chameleon with a mind and thoughts all your own. You are not spontaneous hugs or spilled secrets at midnight. You are secrecy and false strength and moods that cannot be described. You are so unfamiliar to me now, but I am not afraid anymore. And maybe I wrote this because recently you and I are just not the way we used to be. Or maybe I'm writing this out of pent up frustrations. Either way, I don't know who you are anymore and I don't know how that makes me feel. I guess I have lost you. I guess we will be the way you said you'd never allow. I guess so.
ah, my. these have my feelings exactly; feelings so deep, and troubled, like the tossing of an ocean, that i couldn't put them to words. but this is beautiful. and i like this little corner of the web. a lot.
ReplyDeleteisn't it funny how you wake up one day, and suddenly you see that person clearly? that one person you thought you knew, and then their true selves are revealed. it's hard, to say the least. hard, frustrating. suddenly you feel as if you can't trust your feelings or thoughts any more. which i suppose you can't anyway.
xox
Mikailah
www.maid4him.blogspot.com